Psalm 139: 13-16 “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”

Well since we are so willing to consider what everyone else has to say about us, perhaps it would be in our best interest to look at what the one who knows us better than anyone else in all of creation has to say. ‘You are a masterpiece’ (Psalm 139:14); ‘You are more than a conqueror’ (Romans 8:37); ‘You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you’ (Philippians 4:12); ‘You have a purpose, a plan (that includes prosperity) and a future worth looking forward to’ (Jeremiah 29:11); ‘You are the salt of the earth’ (Matthew 5:13); ‘You are the light of the world’ (Matthew 5:14); ‘You are the head and not the tail’ (Deuteronomy 28:13); ‘You are loved’ (John 3:16); ‘You are blessed (Galatians 3:8-9); ‘You are free’ (Galatians 5:13); ‘You are powerful’ (1 John 4:4); ‘You are a child of the Most High God (see royalty)’ (Psalm 82:6); ‘You are a priest and a king (see royalty)’(Revelations 5:10); ‘You were chosen’ (Ephesians 1:4); ‘You are a warrior’ (Ephesians 6:10-11); ‘You are never alone’ (Deuteronomy 31:8); ‘You are a work in progress’ (Philippians 1:6). Now Christian…who/what will you choose to believe? Can you even imagine a life steered by this kind of believing?

Pray: “Holy Lord, I want to know, I want to see what my life would be like believing in only what you say about me. Write these scriptures on my heart. Hold them before me every day. Let them be my defense when the world tries to paint me as something less. In Jesus’ and with his help I will yet be all you created me to be – Amen.”

Romans 10:9-10 “because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.”

The law of believing is a lot like the law of gravity…it works every time. Unfortunately, believing works just as well for incorrect beliefs as it does for truthful ones. When men believed the world was flat, they dared not sail to the horizon. If you believe you are incapable of doing something, you will either not attempt it or fail if you do because you have purposed in your mind what the outcome will be. A thought and a belief are not the same thing. You can doubt whether or not you can do something and still possibly succeed because simply not knowing will often not keep you from the attempt. But if you truly believe something in your heart, it is almost a surety it will come to pass. God says to receive anything from him we must first believe. No believing, no receiving. Our salvation did not come because we knew what Jesus had done. That is knowledge. But when you truly believed that through Jesus’ death and resurrection you have been saved and death conquered, that is when you were truly ‘born again’. You are what you believe. You can be what God created you to be – but only if you believe you can.

Pray: “Father God, today Lord, if there are any beliefs in my heart that are wrong, or not in keeping with your word, correct them, I pray. Let all that I believe be filtered through the lens of your word so that I can be assured that my efforts will not be in vain and my steps are sure. I ask it all in my blessed Savior’s name – Amen.”

We have been shaped by our many experiences and the words spoken into us. It is almost impossible to try and guard against life. But life is only the day to day circumstances that can influence us – what shapes us are the things we allow to touch us in a deeper place…in our hearts. How did the Apostle Paul learn to be “content” in all circumstances? It surely wasn’t by controlling them! It was by guarding his heart and not allowing external things to touch his center for truth. Over the course of a life, whether 7 years or 70, we have allowed our hearts to be molded, shaped and influenced by those around us. We have developed habits based around the ever-changing ‘truth’ fed to us by the people in our lives and the society in which we live. What you truly believe, be it truth or error, will be the compass by which you steer your life. For Christians there is only one error-free standard for truth and you must be careful to let nothing else enter your realm of believing. Correcting symptoms brings only temporary change at best. To steer a true course requires a true compass. Who will you trust – God or the world?

Pray: “Gracious Father, it is only in maturity that I have come to understand how important what I allow into my heart is. What I believe is not based on my thoughts alone but on what I perceive to be true. So much in this world is not what it seems. And the people in my life are just as deep in their search for real truth as I have been. In you I have found a truth that I can believe in – one that I can count on. Give me the courage to dive deep today, set up guards around my heart, and allow nothing but you to influence my believing. In Jesus’ powerful name I pray – Amen.”

John 14:6a “Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.”

Many believers seeking change turn to knowledge, believing that greater study is somehow the key. While it is said that ‘knowledge is power’, in reality that is only half the story. Though knowledge is an essential first step in the processes of believing and accomplishing, it alone does not guarantee results or bring about anything. It is merely potential. Consider a person with knowledge of automobile mechanics who chooses work in the field of pizza-making. Having knowledge of engines does not benefit them in what they do. Consider also the Pharisees. They were teachers of the Law, having all the required knowledge needed. So why was Jesus against them? Was it that knowledge is bad? Of course not. But they were lacking the one thing that made their knowledge of any real use for change…truth. They had the Law in their heads but not in their hearts. When Jesus said he was “the way” it meant simply that salvation came by him alone. When he said he was “the life” he shared that the source of our lives now (and the life to come) flows from him. But when he said he was “the truth” he was telling you real change can only come through him.

Pray: “Holy Lord, my Lord’s brother James said that I should not be just a hearer of the word but a doer also (James 1:22-25). For me to hear means to learn. I must know your word. But for me to truly act upon it, I must believe it. That is taking what is in my head and inscribing it on the tablets of my heart. When the truth is truly in me, real change can happen. Begin that process within me today, I pray, that my life may be all it was designed to be and so you will be glorified in all I do. In the power of my brother’s name I will place my trust and in his name I humbly send this prayer heavenward – Amen.”

Many of the ways people try to make ‘surface’ changes are fairly common. Oftentimes, when we become dissatisfied with what we see in the mirror, we decide that a change in scenery is in order. We somehow think that by changing our surroundings we will somehow morph into something other than what we are. But anyone who has ever tried this approach already knows that the cliché “the grass is always greener on the other side” could not be further from the truth. If the problem was truly on the outside, it might work. But since we know that what is on the outside is simply a reflection of what is on the inside (Proverbs 27:19), all you have managed to do is relocate the problem – to right where you are! Sometimes we try a stricter moral code – believing that somehow what we do on the outside will work its way down to the inside. More serving, more Bible study, more church and more praying simply cannot effect change. When what is in the heart is true, these behaviors will follow without any need of planning or thought. When what is in your heart reflects God, your actions will shine forth in any environment.

Pray: Search me, O’ God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! – Amen.

When the Bible talks about the heart, it is referring to the source of our thoughts, passions, desires, appetites, affections and purposes. Love is connected to the heart because it has the means to affect every one of those things. Love is the great motivator. Human love, the kind we experience the most and are most familiar with is, in many ways (even in its best forms), selfish. We love someone because of how they make us feel. We do for them so that they will stay around and continue to make us feel that way. We love because of what it brings to us. This kind of love is a poor motivator – it will never cause us to go farther than the value we place on those feelings. If love is to motivate all we do, it will have to be a God-kind-of love. A love that comes with no strings attached, expects nothing in return, and seeks only to serve. This is the love that created the world (did you think that God needed a universe?). This is the love that overtook an empire despite constant persecution and martyrdom. This is the love that brings about the changes below the surface we all need.

Pray: “Holy Lord, I know that I have your love. I also have the example that you gave me when you walked the earth among your children. Too often I simply settle for the worldly version. It will never change me. It only throws a fresh coat of paint on my outside. Teach me to love like you, Lord. Let it motivate me. Let that love transform me from the inside so that people can see how the world’s substitute is such a poor imitation. In Jesus’ matchless name I humbly pray – Amen.

To a ‘surface’ kind of person, this doesn’t make any sense at all. How could prophesying, casting out demons (in Jesus’ name even!), and performing miracles not be the will of the Father? To understand Jesus you have to first understand that God does not just look at the tip of the iceberg. The world is full of people doing “good “things. But it isn’t the doing of good things that makes you a good person. Good acts don’t make you good any more than sitting in church on Sunday makes you Christian. What makes you a Christian are the beliefs you hold in your heart. What makes you a good person, then, isn’t the good things you do but whether or not what is motivating you is good or not. God does not so much reward what you do as he rewards why you do it. If your motives are selfish, he gets no glory –it merely becomes part of the show designed to grow your own reputation. God knows that when your heart is right, you will do good things because it will create a desire in you to do so. And you are not in the dark about what that motivation is to be.

Pray: “Father God, the world in which I live has taught me to trust what I see. I have never even thought to question my own motives. If I had, I would probably have found, much to my shame, that many of the good things I have done were for selfish reasons. I want to do good because that is what is in my heart, not because of how I may benefit. When what is below my surface is right, what is seen on the outside will be a true reflection of who I am. That is my desire…that is my prayer today. I ask it, along with your help, in my blessed Savior’s name – Amen.

When those things that are inside of us are things we are not proud of (or things we would rather not show) we typically do one of two things: we either cover them so that they cannot be seen or else appear as something else or we build defenses which allow us to cope with them. These defenses include justifying it or focusing more on other things and pretending that this flaw or fault either doesn’t exist or else isn’t important. Some coping mechanisms become so successful you can actually forget about the issue for a time. Inevitably, though, the problem will work its way to the surface again. A problem ignored is not a problem solved. And the difficulty with covering a problem is that eventually the truth will come out. The drawback with “cope and cover” is that it never moves us closer to our real goal of becoming like Christ. It only gives others the appearance that we are. But when we look in the mirror, we know it is still there…and we know that God knows. What you need to do is check and see if everything is ok with your heart. Real change begins deep.

Pray: Lord God, covering and coping has become a habit I need to break. Once I accept this process will take my lifetime to complete, and that we all must go through it, I can stop worrying so much about pretending. Forgive my ignoring these things for so long. Give me the strength today, Father, to face my flaws and give me the understanding to know where and how to begin, and the wisdom to follow your Spirit’s lead. In Jesus’ holy name I humbly pray – Amen.

The phrase “tip of the iceberg” comes from the fact that the depth and immensity of all that it is cannot begin to be imagined simply by looking at what sits on the surface. So it is with God’s creation: you. God has hidden all that you are and all that he wants for you to be deep within you. He has filled you with his own Holy Spirit, the vastness of which you cannot even begin to fathom. The depths of his love and plans for you and the dreams he has given you all lie safely tucked away beneath your worldly exterior. It is truly a daunting task to bring all of what is in you out. For a mountain peak to rise to the heavens, what is deep in the earth must be pushed upward and out. As God pushes what is in you upward towards the surface, others will begin to see what lies deep inside of you. It is a task too big for you to undertake alone. God has pledged his Spirit to the cause. Just don’t be frustrated when it takes time to reach the surface. God is faithful. He will not stop until you are finished.

Pray: “Holy Lord, all the good that is in me was placed there by you. Do whatever you must to bring it out of me. Though it sometimes takes the pressure of trials to bring it out, I trust you will finish me. Show me what lies beneath my surface, Father – I am ready. Lord Jesus, take my humble request before our Father for me I pray – Amen.”

It is sobering to think that one day everything about us will be ‘laid bare’. It is easy for us, living in this world of smoke and mirrors where so much is not what it seems, to simply don a mask, play a role, and pretend we are not all that we really are. But God did not place you here to be another actor on a stage. No matter how good you become at hiding who you are…one day the lid will come off, the light will shine upon you and then what will you do? You can’t truly hide anything from the Father anyway. He sees all the way through you and me, knowing our very thoughts before we finish thinking them and words before we even speak them (Psalm 139). So what then is the benefit in keeping things that need to be fixed or changed hidden? Even the world says to solve a problem you should get to the “root” or the “heart” of the matter. You know what’s buried within you. Time to dig deep to the heart of the things that need changing, remove the mask, and feel the joy and freedom of a life lived open before God and man!

Pray: Heavenly Father, it is a waste of time, energy, and mentally taxing to try and keep things hidden. You know what lies below the surface of me. In fooling the world I am only fooling myself. On the day when your light shines upon my life, I pray that nothing will show that was neglected. Though I will not be complete and perfect until I am with you, as much as in me, and with the help of your Holy Spirit, take me deep into who I am and show me those things I need to release to you. A man who has nothing to hide is truly free. In the freedom earned for me by the blood of my Savior, I humbly ask your help, Lord – Amen.

It’s not really difficult to understand the motivation of the Pharisees. In many ways, each of us has acted the same way. We want others to have a good opinion of us – even when we know the truth is that we are messed up, in need of serious renovations, and have tendencies we would prefer not to be reminded of publically. But we want others to think well of us, so we work heavily on appearances first, so people will get the impression we want them to have. Unfortunately there is a serious drawback to doing this. Once we appear to others the way we wish to…once we have the reputation we seek…we oftentimes decide not to go through all the trouble of taking care of what lies beneath the surface. Working from the inside out may not be the glamorous approach, but it is the only way your life will ever be substance not just “show”. If you slap a new coat of paint on a car in need of an engine rebuild, it will look great…but eventually it will leave you stranded. What do you really want: the appearance of holiness…or the true strength of the Holy Spirit in your life?

Pray: “Holy Lord, I don’t want to just appear different, I want to be different. I know change must be from the inside out – working from the deep things and moving towards the surface. Just like a house is built from the foundation up, begin today to change me from my foundation up. I want what people see of me to be a reflection of who I am becoming in you, not a mirage or “show” designed to misdirect them from the real me that lies beneath. Lord, help me to truly become the vision of me I want others to see. In Jesus’ matchless name I humbly pray – Amen

James 1: 27 “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

Depending on what age you were when you came to a saving knowledge of Jesus determines just how long the society in which we live has been ‘polluting’ you with it worldly ideas, worldly standards, worldly desires and worldly ways of seeing things. It is impossible for you to truly realize just how deeply ingrained many of these things are. Your brain had been wired to see like the world and respond like the world. Then Jesus comes along…and has this amazing gift for you. He washes all your sins away by the power of his shed blood. He offers you the Holy Spirit to come and live inside of you. Oh yeah…’inside’ of me. About that…Your body will not be a fit temple for the Holy Spirit unless you, with his help, begin to do some deep, deep cleaning. He brings the light, you bring the willingness to toss the junk. Change is a must, however, because without it you will, from force of habit, once again begin to allow the world’s garbage to come into you. This is not a ‘tidying up” or a “light dusting”. This is a ‘Spring cleaning’! And the more you empty out, the more God will fill you up.

Pray: “Father God, I never realized just how much the world had filled me. Although my desire is for more of you, there has to be room for you to fill me. With the help of the Holy Spirit, today I will begin to use his great light to search the depths of what the world has filled me with and begin to methodically get rid of my mess. May my efforts result in something that brings you glory. In my blessed Savior’s holy name I thank you, Father – Amen.

People often misread this scripture. “The old life is gone” is not the same as saying “The old you is gone”. All the old mistakes, dreams, desires and failures are behind you. But the ‘you’ who created them, caused them and participated in them is still looking back at you in the mirror. This verse, which speaks about the spiritual relocation and reclamation of a person’s life when Christ is accepted and the Holy Spirit is received, is about new beginnings, second chances, and about changes. Change is often slow, though, and it can be embarrassing and disconcerting sometimes when the “old things” come out of the “new you”. What we say and do, however, is not the exception to who we are, but rather the reflection of who we are. It oftentimes reveals things inside of us, deep below the surface, that are still in need of (or in the process of) changing. Our tendency is to try and disguise these things or else cover them up. Rather than root out the issue, we slap a band-aid on it. But if we don’t seek change from the inside – it will keep resurfacing again and again. We must get to the ‘heart’ of the matter.

Pray: Lord God, thank you for giving me the chance to live my life again for you. You have not just given me a new beginning but also help so that things will be different this time around. Help me, I pray, to allow you to change me from within, rather than me trying to simply hide who I had become. I do not just want a new life – I want a new me! Today, Father, I accept that I am simply a work in progress. In the name of your son and by the power of your Holy Spirit I humbly ask your help – Amen.

Mark 4:39 “And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.”

There are a few important lessons from Jesus’ calming the storm. You must realize that despite Jesus’ presence, the storm still came. When the apostles called out, waking Jesus in their fear, the storm did not suddenly end. It was only after Jesus first “rebuked” the wind and then commanded the seas that peace came. Storms will come in life, even if we are not doing anything wrong. Sometimes they don’t just “blow over”. In these times you must realize that although God does not threaten or trouble us, he may allow these things to happen in order that we might learn how to deal with the storms and learn to trust in the power of his peace. There is great power in the spoken word. Whenever Jesus performed a miracle, he spoke it into being: “Stretch forth your hand”, “Lazarus come out!”, “Peace! Be Still!” You must verbally rebuke those things that come against the peace of your family and your life. You must speak peace into your situations and the lives of those you love. Every word you speak should be uplifting, encouraging, and spoken with true conviction. Your words can create the storm or calm it. The power rests on your lips.

Pray: “Holy Lord, your brother James warned me about allowing my tongue to run wild. It is a powerful and dangerous thing. Let all the words of my mouth be seasoned with words of blessing and peace. Teach me to trust in the authority of my words when I am speaking as you have shown me in the power of your name. May my words of healing, calming and soothing peace always identify me as yours. In the name above all others…my brother, Jesus, I humbly ask – Amen.”

Proverbs 29:11 “Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.”

While it is God’s will that we have peace in our lives, let us narrow our focus just a little. When Jesus prepared to send his disciples out in pairs of two, he gave them very specific instructions. One of those specific instructions involved where they should stay and how they should enter the homes of strangers. When they were instructed to say “May God’s peace be on this house” it was more than a wish or just a nice thing to say. It was a prayer. God created the home to be the focal point of the social order. As goes the home…so goes society. It is God’s desire as Jesus expressed it, that we have peace in our homes – and not just any peace – but shalom…God’s peace. Jews recognize shalom as “nothing broken, nothing missing” – therefore it is a complete peace. What do you pray over your home? More importantly, what do you bring into your home every day? If you have had a bad day or a frustrating experience, do you bring it into your home? What you bring in will either enhance or change the atmosphere. Check your anger, chaos and troubles at the door. Pray peace over your home.

Pray: Heavenly Father, today I ask that your peace not only rest on my home but that it might reside within. Help me to not bring worldly strife into my family’s sanctuary. Instead, when I enter, let me enhance the peace. Let the peace that you have blessed me with wash away all the cares of my day. And if anger or dissention has found its way in, let me be the one, by my words and actions, that banishes it. In the name of Heaven’s own peacemaker, my Lord Jesus, I send this prayer to you, Father – Amen.

Matthew 5:9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”

There are far too many situations that are beyond our control to hold ourselves accountable for every conflict, every battle. Sometimes strife comes with good cause. At other times it seemingly appears from nowhere. Many times it builds, especially in the home environment, over time. Things that you unwittingly permit to go unchecked or uncorrected grow in magnitude. Even if you do not actively promote the feelings or behaviors, your lack of action or words of correction have the same effect. Sometimes bringing peace or creating a peaceful environment requires tough decisions. Sometimes it means choosing to protect the peace of your nuclear family at the expense of other familial relationships or even friendships. We should strive to be a source of peace in every situation but sometimes that just cannot be. We must, however, do all that we can do. Even if it is not enough, we must still try. At times, the best you can do may simply be not contributing to an already volatile situation. Peace is not an absence of conflict. It is serenity amidst conflict. You can create that bubble of peace for you and your loved ones. As a son/daughter of God you can be the “eye of the storm”.

Pray: “Holy Lord, you have given me the ability to walk in peace, bring peace and create peace in the situations of my life. I want my home, my family atmosphere to be a sanctuary for those I love. I want them to feel safe, secure and at peace when we are together. Help me to guard our home against strife. And help the peace you have left with me to be an active influence to those around me as I work, play and worship. In all things may the glory be yours. In Jesus’ powerful name I humbly pray – Amen.

Like every gift that ultimately comes from above, the gift of peace that Jesus left with us here on earth is a perfect peace. It is not affected by circumstances, subject to moods, conditions or times. It is a peace beyond anything the world can even comprehend. Jesus didn’t promise to send it to you. You don’t need to wait for delivery. You already have it. It is a peace born out of his perfect love for you. It resides in you. It is a peace that can calm the storms in your home or your relationships. It is a peace that brings assurance that better days are ahead. It is the peace that comes from knowing you are never alone in times of trial or trouble. Peace of mind means you can get angry and still have the ability to find your center – to not sin. Peace in your heart means many things: confidence, comfort, hope and compassion. The world cannot steal this peace for it is part of your spiritual connection with the Prince of Peace. You can of course choose to ignore it, to focus instead on the thunder, the lightning and the howling of life’s storms about you instead…but why would you?

Pray: “Father God, my Lord and brother left me an amazing gift and I have all too often failed to take advantage of it. I have ignored the many chances I’ve had to bring peace and I have left my gaze too long on the storms around me and lost my own peace in the process. Such a tremendous gift should not be stored away but should be used. The world and my life provide ample opportunity for me to help spread your peace. Give me the wisdom to seek peace, to bring peace, and to walk in love as you have commanded. By your word and in His name I pray – Amen.

Sometimes the greatest danger to peace in our lives does not come from external sources (though circumstances can certainly contribute) but rather from within our very homes and relationships. At times, we ourselves can be our own worst enemies. There are a couple of important things to note when considering how to bring peace into a situation. First of all, you must have peace, to bring peace. If you have turmoil within, you can choose to keep a lid on it (which maintains the peace) or you can choose to allow it to overflow and then you must endure the ensuing chaos. You can enter an already chaotic situation and by responding in a calm, rational manner you can introduce peace. At the very least, by bringing peace you can allow yourself not to be touched by the conflict around you. It only takes one person who is willing to bring the peace for the flames of anger and dissention to begin to be extinguished. We have the ability to destroy ourselves…emotionally, relationally, and physically. Love is a peace-bringer, not a devourer. You alone can begin to bring the Kingdom of God into your home. It begins with love…with peace.

Pray: Lord God, it is my heartfelt desire to see peace reign in my home and in my relationships. I know that I have been guilty of bringing strife in the past. Help me today and every day to be an agent for peace…even if I must do it alone. Fill me with your shalom that it may overflow into my home and the lives of those I touch. In the name of my Savior…the Prince of Peace…I humbly pray – Amen.

“Got to admit I've got so far to go
Make so many mistakes and I'm sure that You know
Sometimes it seems no matter how hard I try
With all the pressures in life I just can't get it all right
But I'm trying so hard to learn from the best
Being patient and kind, filled with Your tenderness
'Cause I know that he'll learn from the things that he sees
And the Jesus he finds will be the Jesus in me.

Lord I wanna be just like you, ‘cause he wants to be just like me,
I wanna be a holy example, for his innocent eyes to see;
Help me be a living Bible, Lord, that my little boy can read,
I wanna be just like you, ‘cause he wants to be like me.

Right now from where he stands I may seem mighty tall
But it's only 'cause I'm learning from the best Father of them all…”

                               - Phillips, Craig & Dean “I Wanna Be Just Like You”

Nobody goes it alone. So probably the most important question of all isn’t whether or not you are leading but “Who are you following?” In the Old Testament, God’s people could only do what they were told. God spoke to a prophet or leader and then he relayed the message. But two thousand years ago, God came down to this earth not only to tell us how to live…but to show us. He gave us a living, breathing example to follow. Why did the apostles follow him – especially in the beginning? What he had to say was radical and different and seemed at times on the edge of blasphemy as they understood scripture. What he said divided some and turned many others away. So why did they stay? Not just because he had the words of life…but because he lived what he preached. He was not like the Pharisees and other leaders of the day. He didn’t’ avoid the places where there was need – he went there. He taught, and then gave them the application. Sometimes he showed them first, and then taught them. Our young people are watching us. If we want them to follow God, we must show, not tell them, what that looks like.

Pray: “Holy Lord, today and everyday help me to live the life before my children that I want to see them live. Cover my mistakes, because I know I will make them. Let my actions reflect my words and let my words reflect the wisdom and direction I get from you. Thank you for being my example. When my children see me – let them see you. In the name of my perfect example and blessed Savior I humbly ask it – Amen.”

2 Corinthians 3:3 “Clearly, you are a letter from Christ showing the result of our ministry among you. This “letter” is written not with pen and ink, but with the Spirit of the living God. It is carved not on tablets of stone, but on human hearts.”

The ability to lead does not come from having a great sense of direction, a clear view of what lies ahead, or even the charisma to persuade people. The ability to lead is all about knowing what lies inside of you and having an unshakeable vision of what you must do. It is not about having all the answers. For a Christian parent, leadership begins with what you have written on the ‘tablets of your hearts’. If God’s word is what is indelibly etched inside of you, than you know who you are, whose you are, and what you are called to do. You can move forward in confidence and surety, not knowing what lies ahead – but knowing you can accomplish all things through the power of God’s Holy Spirit working through you. It is in the strength of that conviction that others will willingly follow. In an uncertain world, children are filled with insecurities and fears of the future…fear of the unknown. When you can step out boldly because of the faith you have in what God has placed within you, your confidence will act as a magnet to those around you and create a zone of safety in which your children can and will follow.

Heavenly Father, I cannot impress anything on the hearts and lives of my children that is not first impressed on me. I cannot give that which I do not have. Lord, write your words on my heart, that I might be able to lead from what lies at the core of who I am. Help me today to focus on what you have built into me and give me a clear vision of what I must do. Let my confidence flow, not from any great ability of my own, but from my trust in who I am in you. By the sacrifice and delivering hand of my Lord and Savior I place my petitions before you, Father – Amen.

It is up to adults to give direction to the young. If you have children, it is your specific responsibility. If you don’t, you may find yourself acting as a role model for those who may not have a parent to guide them in their home. This has become more and more the case in society today – children wandering aimlessly because they lack leadership in their lives. The world, through its mass media of on-demand movies, cable television, anything-goes music and now online dangers, will gladly provide them with every misdirection and wrong turn possible. It will dictate their self-esteem (or lack of it), their morals (or lack of them), and jeopardize their future. The problem is you are the only one who will act in their best interest. The world seeks its own interests. It will use them as pawns and cast them away when it is done. If you are not careful to look over your shoulder and make sure they are following, you may find they have been led off. You must be the one influencing their lives. The one who has influence is the one they will follow. Before they decide…they will first look to see who is influencing you.

Pray: “Holy Lord, there are so many things in this world today vying for our young people’s attention – so many opportunities to be influenced by this or that. But I thank you Lord for giving me “home field advantage”. You have provided me the first opportunity to influence the lives of my children and those who you have put in my circle. Help me to not approach this responsibility nonchalantly but with the urgency and seriousness that it deserves. Let me by my actions and my words be the influence that keeps them on the path to you. In Jesus’ powerful name I humbly pray – Amen.

In the story of creation, Adam was given authority and stewardship over creation. He was commanded to tend and keep the garden that was his home, name the animals that God had created, and follow one simple rule. Even those in roles of leadership answer to someone. When the serpent deceived Eve and then she gave the fruit to Adam there was a breakdown in leadership. The serpent shouldn’t have been there…Adam had not “kept” the garden well. He should not have allowed his wife to eat the fruit (he was standing right there when she did it) so he had failed to protect her from a wrong choice. Finally, he followed her by eating the forbidden fruit. When someone is given a leadership role, like parents, sometimes they fail to lead. There is never, however, a leadership vacuum. Someone will lead. Unfortunately, sacrificing leadership does not free one from accountability. Eve may have sinned first, but it was Adam that God questioned. It was he who had received the command from God. When parents fail to lead in their homes, oftentimes it is the child who takes the lead. The results can be just as disastrous. Parents must lead.

Pray: “Father God, help me to never relinquish my role as leader in my home or over my children. It is for their own benefit and safety that you have placed them with me. Forgive me the times I have failed to live up to this tremendous responsibility. I often forget that besides teaching and nurturing, I am also called to lead them. Lord, today I humbly ask that you lead me so that I can lead them. I can’t do it right without your help. In the name above all others I send this prayer to you – Amen.

Ruth 1:15-16 “Look,” Naomi said to her, “your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods. You should do the same.” But Ruth replied, “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.”

There are numerous examples throughout the word of God that demonstrate how powerful the connection is between children and their parents. The parents, ever since birth, have been devoted to the protection, teaching and nurturing care of their child. The child, from birth, has grown to trust, love and desire approval from those whom they first bonded with…those who fill up all of their earliest memories. While hanging on the cross, Jesus did not forget to make sure his mother was taken care of. Though it would have been understood and totally acceptable, Ruth refused to leave her mother-in-law Naomi even though it likely meant hardship for them both from that moment on. Even in cases of abandonment, divorce, adoption and countless other circumstances that lead to separation, children never outgrow the need for parental approval. Parents never escape their position as parent. You can change your name but you are still your father’s son/daughter. You can disown your child and flee to the far side of the world…and they will still have your blood running through their veins. It is a relationship for life. A connection this powerful has the potential for good…or evil. As goes the home – so will go the world.

Pray: Lord God, understanding the power of the parent-child relationship explains so many things. It gives us insight into how you must have felt sacrificing your Son. It gives us a glimpse of just the tip of just how much we your children mean to you. If we can care so much for our own…how much more than do you care for us. And if we desire to stand approved before our earthly parents, how much more should we want to one day hear your approval as well? Lord, you are the model for the kind of parent I wish to be. Merciful, understanding, patient, wise and loving. Help me to live worthy of the trust and love my children have in me. In Jesus’ amazing name I humbly ask – Amen.

Following the Lord we will have successes one day and failures the next. And so the battle wages daily to crucify our old nature and live by the power of the Holy Spirit. God knew this and that is why his mercies are new every morning, why there will be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning. Therefore, every new day we are given to take our relationships deeper, to grow them stronger and to make them all they can be is a day that we have to “choose” to do it. Love is only an instinct for God. Only he will automatically and always act in love because it is who he is. It is what he is. For us it is something we are striving to become. It is a habit we are trying to create. No matter how difficult, no matter how little sense it might sometimes make, we must always choose God’s way in our relationships. It is a choice between sacrifice and selfishness. When we can’t find it in our hearts to sacrifice our way for those we love – we must choose God. That is a sacrifice worthy of our Heavenly Father.

Pray: “Holy Lord, you are God in heaven…I am here on earth. So I will let my words be few. Today, Father, I choose you. Teach me to love like you do. In the name of the one who showed me how to love I humbly pray – Amen.”

Launching off into a lifelong commitment can be daunting enough. Maintaining and sustaining that relationship is nigh impossible without divine assistance. We are not perfect beings; and perfect intentions don’t always carry over into perfect actions. Two people, both with needs (sometimes at different times, sometimes at the same time) cannot rely on each other to fill those needs all the time. We always need to be loving, yet there are times when instead we feel empty or angry. Who can fill the need? There are times when we are weary and frustrated and our ‘strength tank’ is on empty. Who can fill the need? There are times when there is confusion and miscommunication and no answers are readily available. Who can fill the need? Surely not another fallible, needy human being. Surely not a horoscope, psychic or tarot card reader. Seemingly little things, if left uncared for, can cause small fissures in a relationship which, if neglected long enough, become cracks that can cause severe damage. All the while, God is sitting and waiting for you to seek him first. Peace, love, strength and clarity are waiting just a prayer away. When God becomes your chief pursuit, everything under heaven will feel the effect!

Heavenly Father, since it is my desire to love and honor the one I have committed to, the best way I can do that is by putting you first and seeking you first in all things. In that way I will be less needy, will be more loving, and will be better equipped to be a blessing and share the blessings you shower down on us both. I will not wait until a crisis comes, but rather will allow your wisdom to guide me, to guide us through the pitfalls of our journey together. In Jesus holy and powerful name I ask it – Amen.

1 Peter 3:1 “In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.”

The Apostle Peter, addressing husbands and wives, emphasizes the connection between the marital relationship and the spiritual ramifications that come as a result of how well it functions. The husband is reminded to give honor to his wife. It says nothing about her earning it. He is to treat her with understanding in all things. Treating someone with understanding does not always require actual understanding. Understanding that her position as a Christian puts her on equal footing with you before the eyes of God, you are to give equal weight to her feelings, needs and desires alongside of your own. Likewise, women are to live a godly example before their husbands. Having vowed to accept his authority, it is never acceptable to withdraw it because, rather than draw him back to the Lord, it is more likely to push him further away. Your good example will act upon his conscience as a constant reminder of his failed responsibility. When you are living up to your end, and he knows he is not, it will gnaw at his conscience like no amount of nagging ever could. In both cases you are acting sacrificially. In both cases you are showing obedience…not to your spouse – but to your God.

Pray: “Holy Lord, all that I do to honor my spouse I do because you have commanded it. Although I should always act in love, in those times when I do not feel loving or particularly inclined, I must always act in obedience to you. This does not come naturally and is hard to do and near impossible to maintain without your help. In the times when I cannot love for the sake of my love, let me love out of obedience to you who has loved me through so many of my own failings. In Jesus’ matchless name I humbly pray – Amen.

Your relationship with God is the only relationship that comes before your marriage. When God binds two into one, it is a spiritual connection between the three of you – made stronger by the relationship you each had with God before you spoke your vows. You were a Christian who became a husband/wife. You identified with the Lord before you identified with each other. This is why God watches carefully how you honor the vows and commitments that you make. He does not take them lightly. God called marriage a covenant, not a contract. In a contract, when one side fails to uphold the agreement, the contract is voided and all parties are free.  In a covenant, like God’s with his children, each side is to uphold their vows regardless of how the other side responds. It is why God loves us even when we are being disobedient children. It is how one spouse can and must continue to love the other even when they are not upholding their end. In the flesh this is nearly impossible which is why being a child of God and having the help of the Holy Spirit is so critical. Vows are never spoken conditionally. God never promised to love “if”…nor should we.

Pray: “Father God, help me today to take responsibility for the vows I have spoken and the promises I have made. My duty as a Christian and as a husband/wife is not dependent on anything else. I am to obey you and keep my word because it is what you expect. Whether the recipient is ‘deserving’ or not doesn’t matter. You have been so gracious to me when I was undeserving…how can I be less? Keep my relationship with you strong, Lord, so that the other relationships in my life can flourish. I will honor you, Father, by loving and honoring those to whom I have given my vows. In the holy name of my ever-faithful Savior I humbly ask your help – Amen.

No two people enter the bonds of holy matrimony with the intention of destroying each other. The expectation for most typically resembles the fairytale which always ends ‘happily ever after’. But the distance between “I do” and “Happily Ever After” is not always a short, smooth, downhill kind of road. In fact, if you consider that what you really have are two people who think differently, speak differently (though the language may be the same) and operate on totally different intellectual and emotional levels, it is amazing that marital bliss and not ‘survival’ is the expectation! Regardless of the reason marriage is entered into, the chances for success are slim without the blessing and intervention of God. Most people fall in love because of what the other person does for them: how they make them feel or the benefits they bring to their lives. In many ways, it’s actually quite selfish. That’s not to say that you don’t do anything for them…but the motivation to enter into a forever union often tends to be self-gratification. Considering that the essence of marriage is a “sacrificial commitment” to the good of the other – storm clouds will soon be seen on the horizon.

Pray: Lord God, a marriage relationship is not one to be entered into lightly. Not only is it a reflection of Christ and the church, but it is intended to be one in which, like Christ, I am willing to sacrifice my desires, my will for that of the one I love. Only if I am mature enough in my relationship with you can I hope to do this. If I try to enter into such an important relationship before I am ready, the road will be rockier and more uphill than need be. Either way, such a relationship will have to have you at the start of it and the heart of it or else it is doomed. Give me wisdom in how I approach this important relationship, this important decision in my life. In Jesus powerful name I humbly ask – Amen.

Psalm 27:13 “Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.”

A man who has never been thirsty cannot truly appreciate a cool glass of water. Someone who has never struggled to put food on the table cannot appreciate a full pantry near as much. Hard times come to most of us – Jesus himself told us they would. Hard times don’t seem so hard when we know there is a purpose behind them. Hard times don’t crush us when we understand they will not last forever. Those who understand struggle are the ones who truly can get the greatest joy from their rest. After joining our story to God’s story, renewal and restoration begin. It is not immediate and it doesn’t all happen at once. It is a process. But as we go through our own “palingenesia”, our own renewal, we will begin to experience a joy, a provision and a peace that is magnified and multiplied because of all the hurt, the pain and the lack that came before it. God wants us to recognize and appreciate all he does for us. Because we remember the dark, we will one day rejoice in the light. Because he is risen, everything sad that has ever happened will come untrue. We will see it now – and in the world to come.

Pray: “Holy Lord, it seems like the respites get shorter and the troubles get longer. I am thankful for the endurance they build in me and the faith that grows with each new day trusting you. I know my troubles will not last forever. I know you will use them for my good. I know that I don’t have to handle them, fix them or worry over them. I will simply grab your hand and let you lead me through the storms. And when they have passed, my joy will be all the greater. In the name of the one who leads me and loves me, I thank you Father – Amen.”

Matthew 19:28 “Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne…”

If we know that death does not have the final say, then we know some other things as well. We know that sadness may last for a night but joy comes in the morning. We know that hard times are temporary and that the end of the story will see the renewal and restoration of all things. When a man joins himself to a wife, God sees them as one person…one story. The two have merged and become intertwined.  They move forward, together writing a single story. That is the kind of relationship Christ wants with the church – the kind that God wants with his children. He invaded our story so that we could choose to join his story. When that happens, our stories become intertwined. God has the ability to write a new ending. Things that are broken can be mended. Things that are old can be renewed. Things that had become useless can again find purpose. Things that may have died can be resurrected again. When you join your story with God’s, not only do you get to participate in the writing of it…but you can look to the last page and see there written:  “Happily Ever After.”

Heavenly Father, I want to join my story with yours. To live a life of drama knowing only that tragedy awaits is no way to live. In you I can have the fairytale. I can have my happy ending. Thank you, Lord, for inviting me to be a part of your amazing story. By grace and with a thankful heart I gladly turn my story over to you. In Jesus wonderful name I pray – Amen.